Today solidified why despite being unabashededly pro-choice, I will never bring myself to join hands with western feminism’s version of “abortion freedom”.
I went to a feminist meeting with a friend on her campus (she invited me) and the issue of “overpopulation” comes up and displays women from various nations (particularly Somalia, Ethiopia and India) in which they seem to be struggling to take care of their children and the slideshow insinuated, “if these women had an opportunity to get an abortion, they would”. That message is not only patently false, but it’s also incredibly offense and disingenuous.
Misogyny is a huge issue in many of these nations, no doubt and reproductive rights are deeply stifled and neglected, as well as prenatal care. It’d be foolish to deny such a reality. But, to showcase women with five, six, up to ten children, as somehow being oppressed by their circumstances and painting huge families as leeches and parasites to the well-being and livelihood of women in the third world is dishonest, hyperbolized and frankly, bullshit propaganda. It suggests that women of the third world have absolutely no agency and are somehow forced to have these children (which thereby means that every large family is the cause of rape, essentially), which is demeaning to every woman’s advocacy movement that have taken place in the aforementioned regions. In addition, it portrays brown and black children as a nuisance, something that the world needs less of, which is disgusting, racist and directly aligns with neoimperialist initiatives.
Also, as someone who comes from an African country where the average family bears 4-5 children, I know firsthand that children are assets to their family, above anything. From my experience, women tend to have more children as sort of a safety net; arguably husbands are more likely to die first, so the more children a woman has, the chances of her being taken of and accounted for are higher. In face the of heightened risks of early death, disease, poverty, war, etc. this is a premeditated move, an action of resistance to ensure one’s survival. In Eritrea, there are children (up to eight years old) who sell gum, tissues and other small merchandise after school to help provide for their families and continue to do so into their teenage years. This, as unpleasant as it may seem, is the reality. Children serve a purpose. They’re an ecomonic resource to their families.
To assert with pictures which provide no nuance, that mothers with their children are helpless, needy and their families repress them is a gross misconstruction of the realities that these women face and it does nothing but assert that western feminism, in all of its narcissism, will ignore and distort context to appeal to its own agenda.
White feminists are always going around using the struggles and lives of other women without a single care of what those woman actually want. I’m sick of it.
Besides which, the world has a problem of countries like the US wasting too many resources, more than a population one. Maybe if the US and other oh-so wonderful, developed countries weren’t busy waging war and exploiting others, they’d get a chance to be able to focus on the growth and well being of their own people and then wouldn’t need to have a lot of children.
But oh, ho, of course the problem isn’t war, exploitation, and resource depletion and waste, it’s brown babies. Of course.
I’m beyond fucking angry. Tomorrow: https://www.facebook.com/events/306835169430369/
“For Release: Woman Dies in UCHG after Being Denied a Life-Saving Abortion. On Sunday the 28th of October, Savita Praveen died at UCHG after being denied a termination which would most likely have saved her life. She was 31 years old, married for four years and hoping to start a family.
If legislation is not introduced immediately, more women will die. Under the X Case ruling, women in Ireland are legally entitled to an abortion when it is necessary to save their life. However, legislation has never been passed to reflect this. It is the failure of successive governments to do so that led to Savita’s death.
Savita was first admitted to the hospital on October 21st complaining of severe back pain. Her doctor initially told her that she would be fine, but she refused to go home. It became clear that her waters had broken, and she was having a miscarriage (spontaneous abortion). She was told that the foetus had no chance of survival, and it would all be over within a few hours.
However, her condition did not take its expected course, and the foetus remained inside her body. Although it was evident that it could not survive, a foetal heartbeat was detected. For this reason her repeated requests to remove the foetus were denied. By Tuesday it was clear that her condition was deteriorating. She had developed a fever, and collapsed when attempting to walk. The cervix had now been fully open for nearly 72 hours, creating a danger of infection comparable to an untreated open head wound. She developed septicaemia.
Despite this, the foetus was not removed until Wednesday afternoon, after the foetal heartbeat had stopped. Immediately after the procedure she was taken to the high dependency unit. Her condition never improved. She died at 1.09am on Sunday the 28th of October.
Had the foetus been removed when it became clear that it could not survive, her cervix would have been closed and her chance of infection dramatically reduced. Leaving a woman’s cervix open constitutes a clear risk to her life. What is unclear is how doctors are expected to act in this situation.
Rachel Donnelly, Galway Pro-Choice spokesperson stated:“This was an obstetric emergency which should have been dealt with in a routine manner. Yet Irish doctors are restrained from making obvious medical decisions by a fear of potentially severe consequences. As the European Court of Human Rights ruled, as long as the 1861 Act remains in place, alongside a complete political unwillingness to touch the issue, pregnant women will continue to be unsafe in this country.”
Sarah McCarthy, Galway Pro-Choice member said:
“Galway Pro-Choice believes that Ireland must legislate for freely available abortion for all women. Deaths like Savita’s are the most severe consequence of the criminalisation of abortion, yet it has countless adverse effects. We must reflect long and hard on the implications of Savita’s tragic and untimely passing, and we must act to ensure that such a tragedy never happens again.”
For more information please contact Galway Pro-Choice on 087 706 0715 or Sarah McCarthy on 085 7477 907”Savita Halappanavar was repeatedly told “this is a catholic country.”
So something that happens to people who are denied abortions that the Turnaway study forgot to mention? THEY DIE.
This is specifically on hetronormative couples:
So everyone’s talking about poor men’s lost fatherhoods when a woman wants an abortion and how when it’s a couple raising a child both of them need to come to an agreement and if the guy isn’t a deadbeat lost cause who runs off then he deserves his kid.
Hurrah but you contradicted yourself right there, right where you said it needs to be mutually agreed on and if the woman’s not mutually agreeing to her body being used then it isn’t a mutual agreement at all is it.
And please don’t come to me with the whole “well she can leave the kid with the father then” thing. It doesn’t work. Unless you’re expecting her to uproot all her life and alienate herself from every single person that knew she had a kid, and they would know, because it’s really hard to not notice when someone’s carrying a baby. And if you do, you’re a douchebag. Because this is not a world that takes kindly on people who can’t raise kids, and for good reason.
And if you’re expecting that woman to raise a kid she didn’t want or COULDN’T RAISE for whatever reason, you’re still a douche, because you’re putting the guy over her, again, like always, like everyone ever does.
Sister Joan Chittister, Catholic Nun (via timehasflewn)
holy shit i love this quote
I vote we stop using the term “pro-life” and change to “pro-birth”, and every time someone asks “What does that mean?”, you can explain this and the other racialized, classist, misogynist, body policing, rape culture reinforcing bullshit behind “pro-life” dogma.
Hey, American uterus owners: want to be completely put off by the idea of ever procreating? Then read this expose in the NY Post about how many women have gotten screwed by our country’s Stone Age maternity leave policies.
In Canada, you get 50 weeks of paid maternity leave. In England, you get 20 weeks paid. In Mexico, 12 paid. As a matter of fact, 178 countries around the world mandate paid leave for creating a totally new human. In America? Twelve weeks, unpaid, and only if you’ve worked for the company for at least a year, and only if your company has more than 50 employees. And they *technically* have to give you your job back, but as this article proves, your employer can probably find a way around that.
So hey, pro-lifers: where are your voices on this? Where are your rallies and signs to support new moms, instead of expecting ones? Where is there a single pro-life legislator fighting to make it easier to have a baby and keep your job? Where are the “family values” politicians when it comes to actually having a child and raising it?
Going through this right now. Why can’t I have a baby AND a job?
Sorry. This pro-lifer is too busy caring about the murder of babies to spend time getting you free money for not working. Its funny how the same people who grouse about men making more or getting promoted sooner have no issues with giving a woman a very long, extended paid vacation after birth but you don’t hear them campaigning for the fathers to have those same benefits.
Hey guys, check it out: pro-lifers want to force you to have a baby, but begrudge you an “extended paid vacation” and “free money for not working” to take care of it.
Like, this is so fucking ridiculous I cannot even. Babies are being murdered and daddies aren’t getting paid time off, you guys, so mothers shouldn’t get a free vacation!!!11
PRO-LIFERS DO NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU. THEY ONLY CARE THAT YOU ARE FORCED TO CARRY A FETUS TO TERM. After you leave the hospital, they don’t give two shits about the quality of your life OR the baby’s. I hope everyone realizes that by now.
Hey, pro-birth person. Because that’s what you all do - get that baby born somehow, someway, no matter if you have to use coercion and misinformation, no matter if you’re treating the woman like a uterus and not a real, full person. And when that baby is born and the mom is poor and needs help (which is why she came to you in the first place), TOO FREAKING BAD. “We don’t help with that!” You find out the help they promised you is gone with the wind, and then they paint you as evil because *gasp*! SHE USES WELFARE. Or, they promise you an open adoption, and the MINUTE your week where they let you change your mind is over, a steel wall just slams down.
Been there, honey, done that, on the “pregnancy crisis centers”. And seen it and had to put a friend back together on the adoption thing.
I think you don’t understand a damn thing about why we have maternity leave and why it’s necessary. For starters, the MINIMUM of time that it takes the female body to minimally heal after giving “normal” birth is six weeks. Even then, you’re not sleeping, in pain, are a liability on the road, and you and your baby are JUST starting to figure out “this parent stuff”.
If you went through a c-section, which people seem to like to ignore is major abdominal surgery, you need even MORE time to heal.
Then there’s breastfeeding. You get to feed your child in the way you want, but after 6 weeks? HA. I don’t think so. Companies HATE that and will use the letter of the law to make it impossible for you to either run home/to daycare and feed the baby. This forces you to pump, which is even harder, because your 6 week old baby is now totally confused between where you are and what the bottle is. And don’t even try to work out a good pumping spot with your boss, because you WILL end up doing it in a bathroom stall or, at best, in your car with a blanket draped over you, while the people who go for smoke breaks every hour sit there and yell about “not fair”. So when you put your baby on formula, then you get to be the La Leche League’s supervillain.
Been there, done that too.
Then… did I mention the highway robbery that is childcare? We are so profoundly screwed up that working at Target for $7 an hour (after the actual corporation you worked for fires you for pumping and you can’t get anything else) means to the government that you are MAKING TOO MUCH and therefore do not require any assistance. You people think that every welfare recipient is sitting there with YOUR money, laughing about it while they take a bath of welfare checks and then go on vacation to Cancun. THIS IS NOT THE REALITY. The reality is that getting the help you need to feed you and your baby is harder to get then getting Romney to admit to all the times he’s lied.
Also, been there, done that.
And you feel terrible. You’re not only fully healed after only six weeks, but you’re still at the mercy of your hormones. Dropping your baby off at a daycare when they’re all of 6 weeks old is a terrible rip in your relationship for BOTH of you. You feel like you’re the worst parent in the world. The first time I dropped my daughter off, it looked nice and clean, but I saw a crawling baby put a worm that had managed to find its way in without notice in her mouth. And I’m talking about a place that was supposed to be “the best”, the place that I scraped every penny and lived on Ramen to get her in to. If I’d called in and said I was going to be late on my first day, they’d have fired me then. So I spent the whole way to work sobbing, and got there trying to look like I hadn’t.
So, why should we get with the rest of the world in this? Happier, healthier families. A time to heal. Time to figure you and your baby out, no matter if it’s a biological or adoptive situation. Less people driving around dead tired, being dangerous to those around them. Less moms feeling torn apart and convinced that they’re the worst mothers in the world because they had to put their tiny, helpless baby into the hands of people they don’t know and gamble that everything is okay. Less women who are lied to and then dropped by “crisis centers”. Dads getting to stay home for a bit too, to help out with everything. They deserve to get time with their babies just as much as women do.
Listen up, idiot: IT IS NOT A VACATION. Not in any way, shape or form. Those measly 6 weeks are you, in pain, trying to communicate with and navigate a relationship with a totally new human being who is dependent on you in every way, but who does everything either the very opposite of what you do or gets sick at the worst time. You spend those weeks covered in things you never thought you’d be, delirious from lack of sleep, often with nobody to help you, unable to clean the house like you did before, unable to take decent, daily showers no matter how you rig it, having to take 5-minute naps when the baby decides to nap, having to learn to shovel food in FAST when you’re hungry because that’s about the time the baby gets cranky, and the cherry on top of this shit cake? When you go back to work still raw from all of this and find out that you’ve either been fired (employers HATE moms; I’ve heard one gripe about “breeders”) or you are forced to take a lesser position. And THAT’S if your company fits all the rules of FMLA.
Don’t. You. DARE. Say “Maybe you should’ve thought about it before you had that baby, then”, because no matter how wanted the child is, THIS STILL HAPPENS. And right now, you’re talking to someone who was raped and then coerced to have the baby, by “pro-birth” people like you.
So SHUT THE FUCK UP, because you have NO idea what you’re talking about. Until you’ve been a 19 year old forced to be a single mother, or even a pregnant woman and her partner trying to figure out how they’re going to live without her income for six weeks and the only thing they can think of is to leave the baby with their 80 year old grandmother who can barely see, let alone take care of a newborn, while mom has to go back to work after ONE WEEK…
THEN you can talk. For now, you can get the hell off your high horse and actually DO something about the deplorable conditions moms face here.
Giving birth = HUGE thing, physiologically, mentally, and emotionally for everyone, including the baby. Not having to worry about how you’re going to feed that child because you have benefits, and knowing that your boss HAS to take you back = happier families and workers. Happier families and workers = better-off individuals. Happier individuals = better societies. Better societies = WE ALL WIN.
Now do you get it, miss pro-birth, or do I need to chop this into smaller words?
*pregnant person, not just women.
I love providing irrefutable sources. (stfuprolife)
Well that’s disgusting.
So here you are. You peed on that stick and got a positive. You didn’t think it would happen to you. Here’s what you need to do next;
- Go see your doctor. No matter what your decision about your pregnancy, you need to ensure that you are actually pregnant. If you don’t have a regular gyno, or are afraid to go see your regular doctor, visit a Planned Parenthood near you (they offer pregnancy tests for about $16)
- Try and relax.
- Think about the goals you have in life, and if a pregnancy and/or parenting fit into those goals. Do you like kids? Can you carry a pregnancy?
- Think about the people in your life and how a pregnancy will impact their lives (including the person you had sex with.)
You have three choices here. You can parent, adopt out, or terminate. This decision is up to you, and may or may not have a huge impact on the rest of your life. Make the decision that is best for you and your loved ones.
Parenting involves carrying the pregnancy to term and raising the resulting child. You may do this on your own, with the father* of your child, with another significant other, or with other family members. If you chose parenting, you should get a regular OBGYN as soon as possible so you can begin prenatal care. Parenting can be stressful, but does have it’s joys. It should not be a punishment, and it should not be forced. Parenting is a journey that lasts the rest of your life.
WIC (Women, Infants, & Children) provides federal grants to states for supplemental food, health care referrals, and nutrition education to low-income, pregnant, and postpartum women, and to children under five.
National Parent Helpline 1.855.4.A.PARENT (1.855.427.2736) provides parents with emotional support.
National School Lunch Program is a government funded effort to feed the children of the United States in schools. Low-income families can apply for a free or reduced lunch. In some areas, this may be the only food available to a child.
In addition, please check out your states individual programs!
So you don’t want to be a parent, but you don’t want to terminate the pregnancy. Adoption may be the best choice for you. Adoption involves carrying out the pregnancy and signing over your parental rights. There are closed adoptions and open adoptions. Open adoptions allow the birth parents some updates on how the child is doing, and may even include visitations (on the discretion of the adoptive parents.) If you choose adoption, please go see an OBGYN as soon as possible so you can begin prenatal care.
State Adoption Welfare Managers Contact Information provides state by state links.
Please be sure to check our resources near you!
1 in 3 women have had an abortion. If you choose to terminate your pregnancy, you are not alone. The vast majority of abortions occur before 12 weeks of pregnancy. Your regular OBGYN may preform abortions, or you may wish to seek out a Planned Parenthood. Depending on how far gestation is determines the kind of abortion you will get. Laws and restrictions vary by state. Legal abortion is a very safe procedure.
Fund Abortion Now provides financial aid to those who cannot afford abortions.
Planned Parenthood describes the different kinds of abortion.
The Guttmacher Institute provides fact sheets about each state’s abortion laws.
Yaaaay, klondikebar123! Everyone please reblog this so others can have these awesome options to refer to!