And I use that term often and never mean it to mean funny-haha, but it’s funny when you realize you trust someone wholly and completely without any terms or bounds and that person isn’t your sister or parent of child I suppose, or someone like that. And you realize I’ve been so used to just not trusting people anymore that it’s a a bit odd to realize that you do trust people again. Odd like you want to poke at it and go “oh, what’s this here?” because it’s been there a while and you just haven’t noticed.
It’s odd and sweet and warm, warm like the warm soup the kind your mother makes when you have a cold because it tastes really good and not hospital soup, warm like the bubbly warm of the smile you have in the dark on peaceful nights when no one can see you or tell what what you’re thinking and you feel safe in that. A particularly sweet warmth when they trust you too, regardless of how they feel about you and maybe they don’t feel the same way about you as you wish they would but that’s okay too because it doesn’t change that you trust them or that they’ve somehow become a safe place and all of it just creeped up on you and you couldn’t do anything to stop it because you told yourself you wouldn’t trust anyone anymore and then you did and you realize you don’t really mind because you can’t think of a better person to trust.