If beauty, as a human construct and judged by human perception (and humans all perceive things differently), is relative, so’s modesty. Since modesty is a human-created or human-defined concept too.

Yes, even religiously-influenced modesty. It’s no different, really. For some people, wearing a t-shirt and jeans is modest. For others, wearing skirts that go below the knee with a long sleeved blouse and small neckline. And yet others, it’s not modest unless it covers the ankle, wrist, and/or neck. For some, even hands (gloves!)

Yes I know I’m talking about modesty to do with women, but that’s how it’s most often brought up. And actually, let me go beyond: there’s a perception that pretending something amazing about you isn’t really. As in, to demean yourself. Personally, it just builds up a culture where people’s insecurities are admired. You might say that the person “doesn’t really believe they’re horrible” etc. but well, if you keep saying a thing, eventually you believe it. But now I’m going off topic. Back to modesty.

I believe a person can be both modest and confident, at the same time, and it doesn’t entail making themselves sound not as good as they are. Modest requires the absence of arrogance. Arrogant people aren’t necessarily confident, just arrogant and think they’re the best. Arrogant people also have a tendency to actually really be insecure.

Confidence means knowing you’re awesome in some things (and not in others, and that it’s okay too, because you can’t be perfect!) It also recognises that there’s people who may be better. And that it doesn’t make you any less bad. As does modesty, really. Modesty as a concept, anyway.

And how people view this concept changes from person to person. Because it’s a human construct.

Also on modesty, and the supposed lack of: people talking about their anatomy isn’t immodest. Not really. If someone talks about their breasts or its size or their bras and the various issues that come with bras, and with breasts, and so on, they’re talking about something matter-of-factly because it’s a thing that exists and if not their problem if other people take it immodestly. Personally, if someone’s talking about themselves without any sexual intent (or even so, how are you supposed to be able to know people’s intentions? You can’t) and person 2 has sexual thoughts related to it…it’s not the first person who’s vulgar, but the second. And it’s not the first person being immodest, but the second. And if the first person’s being shamed for the second person’s immodesty then well, that’s ridiculous.

And this started off in on one point and drifted off elsewhere. Ah well.